I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
