So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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