Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
