Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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