What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
