I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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