I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
