I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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