The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
