What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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