I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
