I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How does one acquire holy water?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
