Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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