Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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