Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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