Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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