she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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