dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
