lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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