don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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