I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
