Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The adults are the big ones right?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
