Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
