you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
