i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
