the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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