Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize