Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
