Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
