are you still at the devil's house?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
