my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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