Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
