Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
