Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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