If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
