i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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