brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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