she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
