So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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