I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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