dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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