At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
