Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
