so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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