Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
