Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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