Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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