his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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