I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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