i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
