Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
