weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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