someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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