True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
