so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
