his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
