Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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