Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
