Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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