Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
no, he came in my armpit
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
